Confessions of a Blue Haired Green Eyed Guy
by Disturbed Insomniac
Summary: Kira is dead and everyone is gathered at his funeral. Athrun has been hidding something and it bothers him alot. Will he be able to tell Lacus and Cagalli? Or will he keep it to himself? R


**I had this story idea at a funeral. It's in Athrun's point of view. Don't forget to review! (smiles)**

**Note: In all of my stories, Kira's parents are Bob and Charlotte.**

**Song: Anna Ni Isho Datta No Ni (Athrun Zala Feeling) (instrumental version)**

**Confessions Of A Blue Haired Green Eyed Guy (temporary title)**

"Why did he have to die?" Asked Cagalli to herself as we stood in front of a coffin.

"Why?... Athrun... I was supposed to protect him." She looked at me with the saddest eyes in the world, then collapsed into my arms. She was having a had time accepting her little brother's death, in fact, no one in the funeral hall could accept the Ultimate Coordinator's death. I stroked her hair reassuringly, as I looked at my best friend in the coffin.

I don't know if I can tell Cagalli about what has been happening between Kira and I... she is hurting enough as she was. I don't want to make her feel any worse.

My teary eyes are fixed towards Kira. He looked so comfortable in his permanent bed of roses. His normally messy brown hair was neatly groomed, his face was pale, almost white. I think I might have been seeing things, but it seemed like Kira had a smirk on his face. He wore a white suit jacket on top of a dark pink (almost red) shirt, and a thin dark blue tie. Red and white roses flooded his coffin. Kira's dead hand held a red rose.

There was something missing... This man is not Kira... he is simply the Ultimate Coordinator, but not Kira... the only thing missing was the life in his forever closed purple eyes.

"This can't be... not my baby boy... he's a strong boy! He survived two wars... Kira!" Said Charlotte Yamato. I felt bad for her. Kira was the only family she had left after Mr. Yamato died of that illness just recently. She'll be devastated if she finds out about my secret as well.

"Who's gonna be our daddy now?" Said one of the orphan children Kira and Lacus have been caring for since the first war ended. I don't want to hurt Lacus either with what I had to say. She was very devastated already, as was everyone else. What would she tell the children?

The master of ceremony (priest guy, I should say) stood next to the coffin where Kira lay and commenced his speech:

"We are gathered here today to say our final goodbyes to Kira Yamato," Cagalli, Lacus and I all sobbed at the sound of his name. "We must remember all the fun times spent with Kira. He will rest in peice if we remember the positive things."

I felt like killing the keyboard player who played very depressing music with fake organ sound.

"Birdee!" Birdee seemed to cry out in despair... that thing seemed to have emotions. He flew from Lacus' shoulder to mine. I remember making it for Kira way back when we were little kids.

We had so much fun with that thing. We used to chase it all over the fields on the moon for hours and hours. When we were tired of chasing Birdee around, we rolled in the grass until we were all rolled out. We layed in the grass laughing at the funny shapes the clouds made.

"That one looks like a butterfly!" I said in excitement as I pointed at a cloud.

"And that one looks like a cloud!" Exclaimed Kira as he pointed at another area of the sky.

"Because it is a cloud, silly!" We giggled for hours under the cloudy sky.

I remember the sad day where Kira left for Earth with his family. Now, Kira has left me again, and this time, he will never return.

I remember when we met again, on opposite sides of the battle field about 12 years later. The sadness and grief and confusion I felt during the wars is coming back to me.

I fast-forwarded those thoughts until shortly after the second war, about five years ago, this was the day that Cagalli and I, Lacus and Kira got married. Cagalli looks stunning in a dress! I still don't know why she doesn't like dresses to this day. She looks in a dress better than Lacus does.

ll the same people that gathered here gathered to this joyful event five years ago, but today, all the joy was gone.

Damn, those parties we used to throw all the time were fun, up until a certain event. It was about 14 months ago. We were gonna throw our usual party, and it was Cagalli and I's turn to host it at our place.

"Hello! Is anybody hoooome?" Said Lacus as she barged into our house, dragging Kira with one hand and holding a flyer in the other. "Oh of course, you guys are right there! Cagalli, you have to come with me!" Said Lacus, letting go of Kira's hand and grabbing onto Cagalli's arm.

"What is the meaning of this Lacus?" Asked Cagalli, uninterested in Lacus' intentions.

"You have to come to the mall! There's a big special on dresses! Up to 96.1 off! They're not just simple dresses! They're really really nice!"

"Dresses? You're taking me dress shopping? You can't make me! I have a party to organize! There's only one hour before everyone else comes!Why would I get a dress anyways! I have enough with that one I got! I don't need a dress! Please! Save me the torture! The agony of shopping!" Said Cagali in a panic. I think she has a phobia of dresses or something. Well, it looked like that anyways.

"Come on, Cagalli, we have plenty of time! That's why I brought Kira here! So he could finish everything in your place!" Said Lacus with a grin on her face. Lacus managed to drag Cagalli out of the house while she was still wailing like a lunatic.

Lacus must have some super strength or something, because I can't even get Cagalli out of the house to shop when we don't need anything.

"My sister was alway the tough one," said Kira reflectively, "Athrun, how do you survie?"

"Meh, I just do. It's not that bad, Kira. It's like if I asked you how you survive with all those freaking haros bouncing all over the place. " I answered.

"I see your point. So where do we start?"

"Cagalli and I were just taking the stuff out of the fridge and the saran wrap that's on it."

"Ok."

So we placed the trays on the table and took off the saran wrap, threw it out. I then slid the fruit platter, the veggie platter and the meat platter, and any other form of "healthy food" on one side of the table, and put all the deserts and stuff on the other side of the table. The desert side of the table was way larger.

"Are you eating a brownie?" I asked as I heard the sound of chewing behind me. I turned around as Kira innocently pulled his hand from the brownie tray.

"Moewe, I dim't take ome!" Said Kira with a full mouth and his hands crossed behind his back.

"Well, don't any more. Cagalli will give me shit if she finds out one is missing before the party." I ordered. I felt very strange. I was suddenly treating Kira as a child.

"How on earth will she know?" Kira asked.

"She counted every single one last night when we were setting them up!" I said in an exaggerated manner. "Let's clean up a bit, to impress the girls and show them how useful we are!"

Kira started to wipe down the counters and I started to sweep the floor. I can say that, sweeping was the most exhausting thing I had to do ever.

"Well, that's enough hard work for me!" Said Kira as dropped his rag, ran to the living room and jumped on the couch. I tiredly finished my job and joined Kira on the couch. We were sitting on the ends of the long couch. Cagalli and Lacus should be back soon. Shinn, Luna, Meyrin and the others should start arriving in a half an hour.

My eyes are fixed on Kira, who was staring the clock on top of the tv. He seemed to be thinking very deeply. I turn my head towards the clock as well. I'm feeling weird again, like if ther'es butterflies in my stomach or something. I don't know why, but lateley, I've been feeling strange around Kira.

I don't know what it is. I thought of telling him about it, I didn't know if I should though.

"Ah dammit! Athrun! I can't hide this anymore! I can no longer deny these feeling for you Athrun!" Said Kira quite disturbed by his thoughts. Could it be possible that we were thinking about the same thing just then?

Before I could think some more, our lips were connected and our tongues ended up like a knot in a shoelace. This kiss was very short, but it felt like eternity. Our tongues finally untied themselves and our lips finally let go. My eyes were focused on his deep purple eyes. They had a look that I've never seen before. Kira's cheeks turned pink. I've never seen cheeks so pink before. They were almost as pink as Lacus' hair.

"Kira...I ... um...---"

"Athrun, I can't believe what just happened!" Kira turned his face away from mine. "What if they--"

I grabbed his face and turned it back my way and our eyes locked together again. I then wrapped my arms around him.

"It's ok, Kira, I love you too." I bit my lips after saying that. I couldn't believe it was really happening. We held each other for another short eternity.

Shock, guilt, fear, and confusion, ran through my veins. My head started to feel all bubly and stuff. I thought of Cagalli and Lacus, knowing that this was wrong. We had just cheated on our wives, but for some strange reason, that all felt so right. I couldn't understand.

We sat down trying to forget of what just happened before Cagalli and Lacus and the others started to arrive. Eventually everyone arrived, and we all had a good time together, then the party ended and everyone went home and went to bed.

I spent many days thinking of what had happened between Kira and I in that day. Did I really have feelings for him? Did he have feelings for me? Then I thought about Cagalli... jeez, I still loved her the same way I always had, which was lots and lots... but I felt the same way about Kira...

Kira and I would go out to bars with al our buddies, like we always did before that party, but instead of going straight home after social time, we would sit on the thick branches of an old oak tree in the middle of the woods. We spent hours looking at the stars, holding each other closely. I'm always amazed by how the moon looks from earth.

"Remember when we went to school on the moon together?" Asked Kira out of the blue.

"Yep, I sure do... those were the days..."

"Do you think Lacus and Cagalli know what we're up to?" Asked Kira, sounding suddenly concerned.

"Don't worry, Kira... I feel greatly guilty too... I'm confused... I don't know what to do anymore." I felt so confused and guilty at that point. I know that Kira ws feeling the same thing.

"In spite of everything, I think we should stop this Athrun... For Lacus and Cagalli's sake." I knew Kira didn't want to end this. I didn't want to either.

"I agree with you, Kira... this confusion and guilt is beginning to be too much to bear."

"We should tell them..."

"What!" I was stupefied.

"... Tomorrow." Shit... Cagalli's gonna kill us for sure.

"Are you nuts? We can't let them know! Kira, It'll hurt them way too much!"

"I know that, Athrun! But it can't be helped! It'll get worse if we keep it a secret any longer!"

"But, Kira!"

"Truth is the only option left, Athrun! We can't hide this forever!"

We finally agreed, after a brief argument, that we would let Cagalli and Lacus know the next day, but that never happened, because the next day was two days ago, when Kira was killed in that car accident.

And now I'm standing in a funeral home, starring at his lifeless corpse in that coffin. I'll never see those lovely deep purple eyes again. What hurts me more is Cagalli, Lacus and everyone else's reaction to what I was gonna say.

I decided that now was the time I had to tell them, before our final goodbyes to Kira. Now that Kira's gone, I feel as if I'm holding both mine and his guilt within the wall s of my high pulsed heart. Tears stream down my face as I gather courage...

I can do this...

No!...

I have to...

I have no choice!

I can't bear it anymore...

No matter how bad the consequences are for them and for me. I have to do this sooner or later.

I make my way towards Lacus and Cagalli. Today is the day they find out.

"Cagalli,... Lacus..." I break down in tears and hug both of them tightly.

"Athrun, what's wrong?" Cagalli was deeply concerned. I feel like I don't deserve to be worried about.

"I have something to tell you guys..."

**END**

**The title isn't the best one, but if anyone has any suggestions on what the story should be called, don't be afraid to say so. **

**I'm sorry if I offended anyone in any way about killing Kira off... remember, this story was thought of at a funeral, and imagining Kira in that coffin instead of my great grand mother made it easier for me... (sorry grand-maman! Pardonnez moi pour ne pas avoir écouter du tout pendant la cérémonie:P:P Je t'aimes!)**

**What are you waiting for? REVIEW! (smiles) **


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